Mary Pierce

Listen to “A Kick in the Bee-hind” blaudio.

TODAY’S LAUGH: On January 2nd, I weighed myself. Ugh. Six years, a half dozen diet plans and the end result? Nothing! Nada! Zip! Zilch! And according to The Chart, I’m twenty pounds heavier than the healthy weight I “should” be for my age and build. (And to be honest, I feel it.)

I had two choices: (1) Throw away The Chart and give up, or (2) kick myself in the BEE-hind and change what I’ve been doing, because what I’ve been doing IS NOT WORKING! DUH!

I mulled my options as I savored a double-fudge brownie (click before you kick yourself) with extra pecans. That put me into a semi-coma, leaning strongly in the direction of “throw away The Chart.” But after I came to, I decided (drum-roll please) to go with the KICK.

Kicking myself in the behind was the only exercise I got that day; however that KICK was right on target. “It’s Now or Never” was playing in my head as I set the DVR to record some exercise shows on DishNet. Yoga for stretch and strength and Pilates for the belly bulge. (Where did that belly bulge come from? Hmm…) And I’ll mix it up with time on the treadmill, watching recorded episodes of my favorite programs.

TODAY’S ENCOURAGEMENT: It doesn’t take much to make a difference. (One Pilates session and you KNOW you’re making progress.) The trick is to find a couple of things you like to do and mix them up often enough to keep you interested. And when you get bored, move on to something else.

Just keep moving. So what do you like? Are you a runner or a dancer or a calisthenics kind of person? Do you prefer high-impact or smooth, slow motions? Are you an outside mover or an inside shaker? Do you prefer a group or to go it alone? Decide what “moves” you, give yourself a KICK, and take a step today toward a better, healthier new you!

Enjoy moving a little more today than you did yesterday, and invite a friend to join you.

P.S. And I’ll keep you posted on my progress. January’s weight was 161.4 pounds of fun and other stuff!

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KICK IN THE BEE-HIND GIVEAWAY: In honor of our battles of the bulges, I’m giving away a copy of When Did My Life Become a Game of Twister? The first chapter “Twisted Sister” starts with, “Whoever said ‘don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff’ never got a good look at my thighs.”

To enter the drawing, use the CONTACT MARY link at left with “TWISTER” in the subject line. (One entry per verified email address & US mailing addresses only please. Thanks.) I’ll draw the winner Monday, March 2, 2009 at 8:00 p.m. CST.

LAST WEEK’S WINNER of Confessions of a Prayer Wimp is Joyce Sobotta. Congratulations!

TODAY’S LAUGH: My computer crashed, restarted and crashed again. And again. I called Tech Support, aka DaHusband, and blubbered. “IT’S GONE! My edited video, my finished article–my whole morning of work–it’s ALL GONE! I can’t check my email! I can’t GOOGLE! I can’t FACEBOOK! I can’t TWEET! MY LIFE IS OVER! WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOOOO?”

DaHusband, aka DaColonel (USAF, Retired) recognizes hysteria. He took command. “STOP!” I stopped. “BREATHE!” I breathed. “This is NOT your LIFE! It’s only your computer!”

Like a slap in the face, it snapped me back. “Thanks Colonel! I needed that.”

TODAY’S ENCOURAGEMENT:  For the rest of that week and into the next we–or rather HE–worked on my technical difficulties. I stopped and breathed and tried not to panic. And I remembered what I wrote in my second book, Confessions of a Prayer Wimp, about the time lightning struck our house and we became “Little House-Unplugged.” I discovered then what I was reminded of last week:

Life–even without tech–goes on!

And there are things we can do without tech. Things that give us peace and fulfillment. Things that make us feel whole and healed. Things that tend to get lost in the shuffle of a complex, high-tech life. Some of those things are:

Breathe, sleep, eat, drink, relax. Stretch, walk, run, skip, dance. Notice, sense, feel, listen, hear. Read, write, think, discuss, ponder. Pray, praise, worship, adore, thank. Laugh. Love. Live.

When is the last time you were unplugged, either by accident or (what a concept) on purpose? Why not choose to unplug yourself for a little while today?  (You can thank me later.)

Now go unplug and enjoy a little “life without tech” and encourage someone else to do the same!

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UNPLUGGED BOOK GIVEAWAY: If you’d like to enter to win a free copy of Confessions of a Prayer Wimp, just use “CONTACT MARY” with “UNPLUG” in the subject line. I’ll draw the winner on Monday, February 23, 2009 (8:00 PM CST). One entry per verified email address and US mailing addresses only please. Thanks. (Ahhh… I wish I had those slippers…and those ankles…)

Our troubles are almost over and I’ll be posting as usual on Tuesday 2/17. Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone!

February 9: Ay-yi-yi! We’re having technical difficulties this week- hard drives corrupted, computer programs crashing–it’s real “end of the world as we know it” stuff given how dependent we are on technology.  Meanwhile I’m taking notes on Life Without Tech and I’ll be back with more laughter & encouragement next Tuesday.  Have a great week!

If you emailed me last week (when the technical difficulties started) and have not received a response, please email me again at mary@laughlady.com.  Thanks for understanding.

TODAY’S LAUGH: Watching myself on a recorded TV interview for my last book reminded me of a scene from “Friends.” The gang is watching a video of a younger Monica, who had a weight problem in her teens. When teased she says, “The camera adds ten pounds!” to which Chandler replies, “Oh. So how many cameras are actually ON you?”

Very funny, Skinny Man.

(BTW, the camera really DOES add weight.  One young local anchorwoman looks average-sized on TV, but in person she’s a walking stick! So the camera doesn’t just add ten pounds; it evidently adds FORTY. Just so you know.)

TODAY’S ENCOURAGEMENT: I’ve struggled with seeing myself on video or even in still shots. The camera always catches me in the middle of a goofy expression. (A caricature is much easier, knowing you’re laughing with me…) It’s hard for some of us to reach self-accceptance. We look in the mirror or at the family pictures and see only our “flaws.”

What is it about you that you have trouble accepting? A physical feature? Your weight? Signs of getting older? Who told you, or is telling you today, that you’re less than wonderful? Who’s telling you you’re not good enough?

It’s time we stopped listening to those people. Life’s short. It’s time to be kinder to and more accepting of ourselves. Time to give to ourselves the acceptance we so graciously give to others.

Time to stop waiting until the weight loss happens or Botox gets cheaper or “Extreme Makeover” calls, and start appreciating what we’ve got–whatever that is–right now, right here.

Try a little tenderness. Just for today, look in the mirror and say, “I’m okay–no, I’m FABULOUS–just the way I am!” And when you stop laughing, say it again and again until the truth of it starts to sink in.

Because that IS the truth: You ARE fabulous, just the way you are. You are deserving of love, and you are loved, more than you can imagine!

May you be blessed and be a blessing to someone else–Tell them how fabulous THEY are!–today.

P.S. If you haven’t seen my YouTube video –oh, yes, I AM brave!–see Mary Pierce Live (and once again, you’re laughing with me, right? )

UPDATED PAGES:

CAREGIVERS: Check out FOR CAREGIVERS (at left) for a radical “new” idea.

TEACHERS: Encouragement for you on the FOR TEACHERS page at left.

WRITERS: Something fun awaits you on the JUST WRITE page at left.

Laugh along with Garrett & me talking about Friends and self-acceptance and Psalm 139. Enjoy!